Behind every mask is a person

Monique, you have been a member of Apolda voluntary fire service for five years now. What made you join?
I work shifts as a machine and systems manager, so I don't often see my son, Aiden, or my husband, Silvio, at home. My husband is self-employed and has long been a member of Apolda voluntary fire service. When my son turned three, Silvio took him along and he was immediately in love. Aiden is an Irish name meaning ‘fire’. At a time when I couldn't move from the sofa with back problems, I asked Silvio to bring me the fire service manual and I read it from cover to cover.

Wasn't there anything more exciting to read than the fire service manual?
I thought it was really interesting. The only more exciting entertainment was watching ‘The Walking Dead’ but I only do that when the rest of the family is busy with other stuff.

What was it like joining the voluntary fire service back then?
Anything but easy! I was the only woman and the men didn't trust me with anything. I got twice as many stares. That was until a particular fire on Brückenborn, a shopping street here in Apolda, when I showed them that I am just as capable as they are. It was my first time in the response team and I did everything how it should be done. Sadly, our help arrived too late and there was a fatality. We didn't immediately find that person and had to retrieve the body later. But my colleagues recognised my work. These days, I still get banterous comments but I'm in the response team much more often and I have a pager.

How often do you get called out?
It varies. Last year we had 360 call-outs, so almost one per day! And then nothing in the last two weeks. Unfortunately I can only respond when I'm not at work. The journey from my workplace to the call-out is too long. And anyway, lots of employers find it too much work to claim payroll costs back from the council when employees leave work for call-outs. My previous boss even added the hours back into my shift balance. In the last 18 months, I have worked five hours' overtime to respond to call-outs.

What is your motivation to continue your commitment to the fire service?
Someone has to do it. If we don't then no one will. And helping others is a good feeling. Sometimes, all you need to do is be present and hold someone's hand. In 2012, when I was pregnant with my son, my full packing boxes in the cellar of my old flat went up in flames. I stood watching these huge flames and couldn't do anything about it. I was so happy when the firefighters arrived and put the fire out. Although not a lot came out of it in tact! Even back then, I wondered whether I should volunteer for the fire service.

How would you assess the condition of your fire service?
Really, we need a bigger fire station. We can't separate the clean and dirty areas well because there isn't enough space. And a women's changing room and shower would be great. The women get changed in one of the garages and always lock the door to the showers. That's how the men know that a woman is showering.

What do you do to relax?
I quad bike. If the weather is good, we are out most weekends, the three of us or with friends. Sometimes I go for a bike ride with Aiden. That makes me sweat a lot. ‘The Walking Dead’ is great relaxation for me. It's such an exciting series that I don't notice the time passing. Sometimes I haven't turned the television off for four or five hours!

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?
My mum. She had a really tough childhood in a children's home. But she didn't talk about it a lot or show it. She taught me and my sister that giving up is not an option. We have to fight to achieve our goals. She really motivated us to learn and to learn for ourselves – not for her and not for anybody else. She allowed us one day a month to skive off school if we wanted it. She would have written us a note for school. But I only used that offer twice in my entire school career. Now, she lives next door to us and Aiden visits his grandma every day.

What celebrity would you like to meet?
Sadly, he died last year: Aaron Carter. I listened to his songs as a child. I was just one year older than him. In 2018, my big sister and I had tickets for a concert at a small club in Berlin. It was only 200 capacity and we also bought a meet & greet ticket and met him backstage. I got him to sign my back and then had the autograph tattooed over. I listen to his music almost every day, including older songs and the more obscure ones. ‘Don't say goodbye’ is my ringtone.

What film does everybody need to see?
Flight 93. It was the first film I ever cried at. It depicts the events before and during  United Airlines  flight number  93, one of the flights that was hijacked by al-Qaeda on 11 September 2001. That day was a key event in my life. I will never forget standing with my mum in an electronics shop in Zwickau and seeing the Twin Towers fall on so many TVs at once. I was 14. We were supposed to have been in New York that day. We had been invited to our friend Joshua's wedding but we couldn't afford the flights. We tried to contact him for weeks but never got an answer. At some point, we had to accept that our friend had lost his life in the attack.

How did you process this tragedy?
Years later, I could still hear the sound of bodies impacting on the ground, the people falling from the towers, as I went to sleep. It haunted me. At night, I was scared that the house would fall down while I was asleep. I often woke up with a start in the night. It only stopped when I stood at Ground Zero with my sister on the tenth anniversary of the disaster. We flew to New York together on 11 September 2011. Vast numbers of people were out and about. Yet still it was quiet and peaceful in the city. President Obama and his predecessor, President Bush, addressed the people and then we headed over to the two huge pools where the Twin Towers used to stand. At the edges of the pools, the water plummets ten metres. The names of the victims are engraved on plaques. It was both painful and comforting, standing there. That day at Ground Zero, we truly said goodbye to Joshua. Back in Germany, I got a new tattoo on my right wrist, feauturing the numbers 9/11 with the silhouette of the Twin Towers, the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. Now I'm just missing the firefighter's helmet. I will always have a connection to New York. I even commissioned a graffiti artist to paint me a sunset over the city that now hangs in our living room, alongside other images linked to New York. Even my car registration number is AP - NY 911. That city is omnipresent in my life.